Deciding to go on a date with a hot but dumb blonde, Brian soon discovers he is dating "an idiot." Returning home depressed, Lois attempts to cheer up Brian by suggesting Peter take him to a laser rock concert that he was planning on attending, along with Quagmire and Cleveland. While there, Brian begins looking around the theater at all of the loving couples (Three Dog Night - One Is The Loneliest Number playing), and becomes even more depressed, eventually deciding to begin drinking. On the drive home with the guys, he is soon pulled over by Joe, and arrested for driving under the influence. Appearing in court one month later, Brian is sentenced to one hundred hours of community service in the "Outreach to the Elderly" program, and assigned to an elderly woman named Pearl, who has not left her house for 30 years. Appearing at her home the next day, he quickly becomes angered by her constant nagging, eventually deciding to tell her to "drop dead." Later that day, however, Brian soon discovers Pearl was actually a brilliant opera singer during the 1940s and 50s, who was shamed into hiding once she faced demands to sing her more popular radio jingles. Deciding to visit Pearl later that night, he discovers her with a noose around her neck, about to commit suicide, but saves her at the last second. The two quickly bond over Pearl's singing, and become close friends. Suggesting they go out for dinner, Brian leads Pearl out of her house, but she is immediately run over by a passing car, requiring immediate medical attention. Spending their last seconds together in virtual reality, which Brian had bought while at the rock concert, Pearl soon dies from her injuries, leaving Brian alone once more.
Meanwhile, after watching an episode of Grizzly Adams on television, Peter decides to grow a beard, despite Lois's disapproval. After his beard is fully grown, the Griffin family decide to go out for dinner, and are soon pestered by a small bird, who eventually settles in Peter's facial hair. Unaware that the bird is actually an endangered species, Peter attempts to remove the bird, but is soon threatened with jailtime if he does so. Left with no other choice but to let the bird live within his hair, Peter attempts to continue life as normally as possible, until he can no longer take the bird's constant squawking, and decides to shoot the bird. Stopped at the last second by Lois, Peter accidentally shoots a nearby window, causing the bird to fly out. Thankful that the bird is finally gone, the two soon hear peeping coming from inside his facial hair, and discover three small baby birds. Won over by their resemblance to his own children, he decides to keep the baby birds, and take the place of its mother. As time goes on, he becomes reluctant to release the birds once they have become fully grown, but is ultimately convinced by Lois to release them back into the wilderness once they attempt to fly out of their bedroom window.