In this episode, Peter is sure his son Chris will never beat him at anything, from skating, to stacking dinnerware on top of their heads, and playing basketball. But, after doing the latter, when Peter and Chris are in the sauna at the gym naked, Peter suddenly discovers that Chris has a bigger penis than he does. Suddenly insecure, Peter buys a long, red car, in which he drives in and out of a tunnel imitating sexual penetration. Later, he joins the National Gun Association because he thinks that it will make up for the size of his own penis. On a hunting trip, a bear attacks Peter and Chris, but Chris drives away the bear that threatened to kill them both.
Meanwhile, Meg tries out for cheerleading but is accepted into the flag girl squad instead. As her squad performs and the band plays what sounds like "Electric Avenue," several of the cooler kids, consisting of Connie D'Amico and her trio of cronies: Lisa, Scott, and Doug, rig a device that pelts Meg with rotten meat. Lois then devises a plan for revenge. Meg makes friends with Connie, but this does not last, as Connie and her friends trick Meg at a party for Connie's 16th birthday. Thinking she was going to kiss Connie's friend Doug while locked in a closet, Meg instead finds herself, in front of all the others, kissing a pig held by Doug. In the end, Lois sends Quagmire to molest Connie and her friends.