The Griffins need a new car. Lois decides to buy one out of the classified advertisements, but Peter refuses, having come to the ridiculous conclusion that buying a car out of the classifieds is what led to an acquaintance of his contracting herpes, ten years later.
Peter and Lois go to the local car dealership, where despite Lois's advice, a salesman (Jim Kaplan the conman) convinces Peter to buy a car he claims James Bond previously owned. The car breaks down almost immediately, but Peter is able to trade it in with insurance money when a mafia member offers to help. The favor he needs to repay is simple: to take the Don's nephew, Big Fat Paulie, to the movies. Peter and Paulie become friends, but Lois says that she does not think that Paulie is a good person, and orders Peter to get rid of him. When Peter says that they could hang out if Lois was not around, Paulie interprets it as a request to put a hit on Lois. When Peter finds out, he tries to get Paulie to call it off, but the gangster is gunned down and killed by a passing car before he can do so. The next day, Lois finds out from the newspaper that Peter brought home a mobster and learns, during a play when an attempt on her life was made, that a hit was placed on her. Peter goes to the mafia "pet store"; Peter talks freely about what is going on despite the mobster telling Peter that the place is bugged. To get rid of him, he gives Peter an invitation to the Don's daughter's wedding. Because every guest gets a free favor, Lois tells Peter that he can ask the Don to call off the hit. However, he changes his wish by asking the Don for some of his tiramisu.
When they are outside, Peter sees the Don's daughter and her fiancé, Larry, arguing. He tells them that they should work together because he learned that the hard way. Just then, Larry recognizes Lois as the person he's supposed to whack. In order to save Lois' life, Peter asks the Don to kill him instead. The Don, overwhelmed by Peter's kindness to Lois, calls off the hit entirely.
They ask the valet to bring their car around and it explodes, killing him. Larry catches up with them and tries to warn them about the car, but he notices the car and leaves surreptitiously. Peter and Lois reflect on how nobody important got hurt in this incident, as the valet's vest falls from the sky.